ElectionsVote (PHOTO CAPTION: About five years ago, these girls were only 7 and competed in a national dance contest in skimpy costumes and writhing in sexually suggestive moves. And, bonus question: “Was the(more..)

ElectionsVote “Due to a lack of experienced trumpeters, the end of the world has been postponed three weeks.” — Pablo Casals  The last few months, I’ve been slowly acquiring emergency (more..)

ElectionsVote “It is easier to be gigantic than to be beautiful.” — Nietzsche When I was a young man, we weren’t aware of holes in the ozone nor did we measure how long we could walk outsid(more..)

ElectionsVote (caption: from famed London street artist, Banksy)  I blame the’60s. I don’t know why. I just do. Somehow, John F. Kennedy’s bold challenge to America of “Ask not what you(more..)

ElectionsVote “I couldn’t afford the gas home so I slept in my car in the employee parking lot the whole time.” — A friend’s answer to the question:  “So what did you do on (more..)

ElectionsVote Okay, so every once in a while we have a misstep here at the SCV Beacon. This week’s Boston Report is delayed and will hopefully show up later today. But in the meantime, we do want to draw you (more..)

ElectionsVote “Last time I tried to make love to my wife, nothing was happening. So I said to her, ‘What’s the matter? You can’t think of anybody either?”— Rodney Dangerfield &n(more..)

ElectionsVote “The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.”— Gloria Leonard We all wear many hats and one of mine is historian. I used to teach the history of the Santa Clarita Va(more..)

ElectionsVote “In heaven, there ain’t no beer. That’s why, we drink it here.” — from the hit polka song A while back, the Miller Brewing Company aired a new TV spot showing three youn(more..)

ElectionsVote “I propose getting rid of conventional armaments and replacing them with reasonably priced hydrogen bombs that would be distributed equally throughout the world.”— Idi Amin  Am(more..)