ElectionsVote “It is the height of fashion to think, dress, and act like a homosexual. But, suddenly, it has become very unfashionable to be one. This may be the result of the immense fatigue everyone is feel(more..)

ElectionsVote State. Mandatory. Homework. Has a stunning finality to it, don’t it? I wonder what ever happened to Governor Gray Davis. He was impeached centuries ago, replaced by Arnold Schwarzenegger, who wa(more..)

ElectionsVote “A two-pound turkey and a 50-pound cranberry. That’s Thanksgiving dinner on Three-Mile Island.” — Johnny Carson I’ve noticed a disturbing lack of Global Warming Hysteria(more..)

ElectionsVote When I was a kid in school and growing up, no one ever told me about distraction. Well. If they did, I wasn’t paying attention. I suppose if I were to appoint one supreme mortal enemy of mine ov(more..)

ElectionsVote “Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family. In another city.” — George Burns Every Christmas, we all get that relatively new cultural phenomenon in the mail — the(more..)

ElectionsVote “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family. In another city.”— George Burns   CAPTION: My brother-like substance, Joe. (from a police artist sketch.) My (more..)

ElectionsVote “Beware of the man whose God is in the skies.”— George Bernard Shaw If someone passed a petition outlawing Christmas, I’d probably sign it. I’m not being a Grinch, eithe(more..)

ElectionsVote At the dawn of the 21st century, Jair Coelho made a fortune by acquiring the sole government contract to provide around 22,000 boxed meals a day for Rio de Janeiro’s prison population. (PHOTO(more..)

ElectionsVote “The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.”— Lao-Tse Except for the pot smoking, in Roy Michael Moore, I have a kindred spiri(more..)

ElectionsVote “Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through a blizzard.” — Jeff Valdez   (PHOTO CAPTION: Ruth Newhall and her black office alley cat, Ma(more..)