HEADLINES

Putin's New Perfume

Posted on: 04/19/2017 00:00

(By John Boston) “Can’t you smell that smell?”— Lynyrd Skynyrd

With all the trouble Russian President Vladimir Putin gets into, it’s refreshing to see a new side of the dictator. They just had a new perfume named after him. If Estee Lauder brewed the batch, I’d guess they’d name it “Torture.” Alas, the smell-good potion is called the most Soviet and unimaginative: “Leaders Number One.”

The scent was created by the Belarussian-born perfumer, Vladislav Rekunov. It’s sold in a gloss black bottle with Vladdy’s profile. Cost? Just 6,500 rubles, or about a hundred bucks American. It’s sold only at Moscow’s luxury GUM department store. I’m not sure the size of the bottle. Knowing the Russian penchant for child-like grandiosity, I’m guessing it’s probably in the 24-gallon range, or, about three-cents an ounce. Should last you an entire Siberian winter.

Call me old-fashioned. But besides the fact I don’t wear perfume, I wouldn’t splash on a brand named after a sociopath commie dictator going wee-tinkie.

I’m not sure I’d want to sidle up next to a woman in a $10,000 evening gown only to inhale a dizzying wave of Siberian armpit.

“Darling! What IS that you’re wearing?! You smell like the Tomb of Khrushchev’s Underwear.

Wouldn’t you love to have a hoodie with Tomb of Khrushchev’s Underwear stenciled on front? I’d be a god at the next gathering of useless cheese weenies and Occupy Wall Streeters if I wore a sweatshirt like that.

I wonder if there actually is a Tomb of Khrushchev’s Underwear. A little known historical fact: Nikita Khrushchev owned the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics’ only set of underwear and we’re talking both boxers AND briefs. As a socialist, Niki was supposed to share them. He never did.

What’ the ad campaign on Leaders Number One?

Tell Me You Like How I Smell Or I’ll Carpet Bomb You?

For Women Who Don’t Shave Their Epic Armpits?

A Scent As Giant As Mother Russia?

Read more here: The John Boston Report: Putin’s New Perfume


 

 

 

 

 


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