(By Chris Sharp) Every year, Los Angeles County has become either the top place or close to the top in the record of hit-and -run driving in the United States of America. This phenomenon has breached every possible social category in Los Angeles. The cars spotted doing the hitting and running range from models that are even decades old or even the newest lines of Mercedes.
Even millionaires who could easily afford higher premiums on their auto insurance have been arrested as hit-and-run drivers after fleeing the scenes of their cringing and dying victims on the those paradisiac streets of the Southland, paradoxically known for their peaceful line-ups of tall palms on the side. Even Dennis Rodman – a locker-room friend of major world elbow players such as Donald Trump who starred him on “The Apprentice” and Kim Jong-un who shared his despot grandstand with him – yes, even Dennis Rodman has joined the ranks of our burgeoning hit and run drivers up on a Southern California freeway off Santa Ana towards our entry into the year 2017.
I would have liked to have turned this article into an interview with former NBA Chicago Bull Rodman, like why do you like so many others choose California for your hit-and-run atrocities. But unfortunately I came up short on that idea. Instead, I will try to present a general outlook of all of our hit-and-run drivers in LA – so here is Mr. L.A. Hit and Run Himself speaking.
Mr. L.A. Hit-and-Run:
First of all, before you pass any judgment on my career hit-and-run driving in L.A. consider the fact that even though I have had three of these incidents only in the last ten years, I am still driving a car in Southern California and loving it. Because if I had not been such a Heisman Trophy style broken field driver careening away from my three biggie accidents, I might be in jail today instead of talking here to this fine Beacon audience.
Second of all, it is untrue that I go out of my driveway in the morning hoping I may hit someone with my car that day. In fact, if anything, it is just the opposite with me. I would just as soon not hit anyone with my car for the rest of my life. In fact, hitting a person in my car still bugs me.
So I’m just the same as everyone else, right?
Fortunately, though, I have learned through playing countless video games in the Mortal Kombat mode that killing people may not be as bad as it looks. After all, most of the people I have killed on Mortal Kombat only looked and moved like people. So you can’t really tell who is really just a phantasmagoria underneath that human look, can you? I even asked my mother (who is keeping me now if she is a phantasmagoria and she said, “Yes, I am.”
So I would have to say that while people may be happy to wring my neck for my hit-and-run driving, I am at least not as apathetic about the subject as is the state of California.
Read more here: A Sharp View: An Interview with Mr. Hit and Run