Well, saddlepals. Last Time Ranger trailride of 2011. I’m betting 2012 will be just a whole lot more successful, foof and boy howdy. There are many interesting vistas ahead today, dear amigos and amigo-ettes. We’ll play one of my favorite games from childhood in Newhall: Hobo Golf. We’ve got cowboys, the world’s strongest boy, Astroturf and spankings.

Astroturf and Spankings. Sounds like Rick Patterson new law partners.

There’s the usual self-inflicted gun shot wounds, floating cars and the quietest New Year’s Eve in the entire civilized history of this valley.

Swing up on those saddles, take a sip of latté from your canteens and point the nose of your pony toward yonder time vortex…

(Photo caption: Our own cowboy star, Montie Montana, set an amazing record in 1982, New Year’s Day. He rode in his 50th Rose Bowl parade. Accompanying him was his six-year-old wonder horse, Rex. Oh. And his wife, Elly. Sorry about giving Rex top billing. Back to Rex, it wasn’t hard for the Agua Dulce cowboy to remember all his horses’ names over the years. Montie named all his parade horses, “Rex.” Montana was more famous for his traveling cowboy show than his movie rolls. He had entertained presidents and the Queen of England with his rope tricks. Once he startled secret services agents by lassoing President David “Ike” Eisenhower.)

WAY, WAY BACK WHEN —

——— On New Year’s Day, 1850, the überhikers Manly & Rogers arrived at the Rancho San Francisco, seeking help for a stranded wagon train of settlers in Death Valley. The boys were actually looking for San Francisco in Northern California. A posse of vaqueros left from the Newhall ranch to rescue the original yuppies. Death Valley got its name from one woman in a Conastoga looking back at the desolate wastes and saying, “Good bye, Death Valley.” Many from this wagon train would end up settling in the Santa Clarita Valley.

——— New Year’s Day, 1842, Ignacio del Valle claimed the Rancho Camulos as his.

JUST SO YOU KNOW —

——— Ruth Newhall tells the story about an unusual golf three-some from the 1930s. Seems William S. Hart, comedian W.C. Fields and one of the most famous entertainers of his day, Charlie Mack, used to go golfing together in Newhall. There wasn’t any course in town then, but the trio would take a bottle of whiskey, a few clubs and a bag of golf balls. They would wander up and down the hills of Newhall, using distant tree stumps and fence posts for “holes.” We used to call that Hobo Golf when I was growing up here. Except my best pal Phil Lanier and I used to use his dad’s wood drivers and steel cans — back when they were tougher than tanks.

DECEMBER 29, 1921 —

——— We were such a small town 90 years ago that it made front page news who bought a new car. The Irwin brothers purchased a new Ford and Fred Lamkin balanced the scales by buying a new Chevy. Of course, the last couple of years, sometimes in 2011 it felt like someone was buying a car a week…

——— Back in the early 20th century, San Francisquito Canyon Road could be a real nightmare for travelers. For one thing, you had to keep criss-crossing the creek to make it up or down the canyon. F.J. Campbell of the Edison Company tried to navigate across the stream and didn’t figure on the water being so deep. His car didn’t so much get stuck — it floated away. Campbell managed to swim to a safe bank — minus the company car. You know, we’ve heard rumors that former Edison exec Fred Trueblood did that six times. Just kidding cuz we love you, Frederick…

DECEMBER 29, 1931 —

——— A steady rain over Christmas dumped about three inches of rain through the valley. Oldtimers noted it had been a while since every stream in the Little Santa Clara River Valley was bubbling.

——— Ed Moore went out for some target practice by Beale’s Cut and ended up being the target. Moore hiked to a lonely spot with his friend, Herb Murray. Moore was standing on a 20-foot precipice and, as the story goes, his friend ended up accidentally shooting him in the chest. Moore never got to see 1932.

——— While this was not exactly a local story, everyone in town was talking about it. On this date, 90 years ago, the first public phone call from California to Hawaii was made.

——— The Formerly Mighty Signal ran an editorial entitled, “Dangerous Knowledge.” It questioned the wisdom of teaching everyone chemistry because the evil of the world might use it to make bombs and poisons. “Our scientists teach everything they know, to the boy of character and to the criminal alike.” The Signal also noted that it was probably too late to do anything about it.

DECEMBER 29, 1941 —

——— We were still in shock from the attack on Pearl Harbor a few weeks earlier. It was the most somber New Year’s Eve ever recorded — either before or after 1941. Suspiciously missing from the Sheriff’s office were all the drunks and brawlers that came with the changing of the old year to the new. The only call, in fact, on New Year’s Eve, was to quiet a quarreling couple in a Soledad trailer park.

——— Silent film superstar broke his own rule of public appearances when he hosted a dinner for officers and enlisted men stationed in Newhall. Hart personally served about 100 men a turkey dinner, then regaled them with stories about the old West.

——— Signal columnist Solemint Mike recalled a conversation with a Sand Canyon mother. The mom had bade farewell to her daughter, who was heading out for a New Year’s Eve party. Said the mother: “Be careful and have a good time.” The daughter replied: “Mom. You’re going to have to make up your mind.”

DECEMBER 29, 1951 —

——— The parents of Corporal Stan Cook got a rather shocking letter from their son. Stationed at a lonely intelligence station in the Swiss Alps, Cook was sent to repair a radar tower in a blizzard. He accidentally grabbed the wrong wire and got electrocuted. He was knocked out and fortunately found before he could freeze to death.

——— Burdett Houser, local government hunter, went out to his pick-up truck and found someone swiped 32 of his coyote traps. Value? About 48 bucks. Wonder where Wile E. Coyote was during all this? (NOTE TO SCV TALK: We are not officially BLAMING Wile E. Coyote as a historical fact. We’re just taking artistic license…)

DECEMBER 29, 1961 —

——— It was an odd coincidence. Remember a ways back up the trail when Ed Moore was killed in a target shooting accident? Same day in 1961, a teen was killed during a target shooting outing in Canyon Country when a .22 caliber rifle, leaning against the back seat of car went off. The bullet went through the rear window and hit young Elmer Betts in the skull, killing him instantly.

——— We’ve touched on this before. Words had different meanings years ago. A Signal headline proclaimed: “New Year Welcomed With Many Gay Parties.” Safe money is, back in 1961, they meant, “Happy.”

DECEMBER 29, 1971 —

——— Today, we have beautiful meridians, courtesy of local builders and the city. Thirty years back, county road crews brought in Astroturf to replace street planters along Valencia Blvd. Astroturf. Very classy.

——— An investigative report noted that local school districts were, by law, able to administer “reasonable spankings.” That’s a relief. “Unreasonable spankings” seems to cross into a whole different prairie. Another relief was to learn teachers could not punch students in the nose. Most principals noted they wouldn’t use spanking, even as a last resort.

——— Newhall’s Greg Hollman, American record holder, broke the world powerlifting record in his division in Germany. His three lifts totaled 960 pounds. Not darn bad for a 15-year-old boy. When Hollman got there, the hosts tried to psyche him out, promising that a German would win the contest. Hollman afterward winked and said: “They didn’t know I was German.”

DECEMBER 29, 1981 —

——— Carlos Villa, half-Apache, got an unwelcomed present from the evangelical Church of the Canyons. He had lived in an old construction trailer in the back of the Sand Canyon church property and was the handyman for the congregation. Right before Christmas, the church evicted him.

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Welp. This is the place where I get to throw out the very old joke of, “See you next year.” It sure has been fun riding with all you saddlepals during 2011 and I look forward to many other trailrides to come. Until next Thursday right back here at your West Ranch Beacon in yonder 2012, vayan con Dios, amigos!