Well, I am off on another adventure this time to Switzerland; we’re currently cruising at 35,000 feet and going about 625 miles per hour. That seems a tad faster than usual but the Captain was making up for the late departure from LAX. It seems that someone forgot to close one of the cargo doors completely! Fortunately just as we were at the end of the runway readying for take-off the Captain noticed the warning light and we taxied off the runway so that a mechanic could come out to the plane and properly close the hatch. It wouldn’t have been a good thing to have the cargo door blow off the plane at a high altitude!!!

As much as I like to go to wonderful location around the world it has gotten to be pure drudgery to travel to and from these areas via air transportation. You just don’t know anymore what the next surprise will be at the airports, with the airlines or with the different security measures in various countries.  

Don’t get me wrong, once you’re on board the plane it can be quite nice being pampered for 10 or 12 hours. It is more about running the gauntlets of airport traffic, baggage check-in or claim, security, and immigration. Through my extensive travels over the years I can say, unequivocally, that there are dramatic inconsistencies from airport to airport and country to country.

For instance, the United States seems to be one of the few, if not the only, country that requires passengers to remove their shoes to go through security. This was a direct result of the “shoe bomber” who tried unsuccessfully to take down a plane over the Atlantic. He was from Europe and guess what; the European airports do not require you to remove your shoes to go through security! But here in the U.S. every airport has you removing your shoes or sandals or flip-flops. Honestly, flip-flops which you couldn’t hide a thumb-tack in have to come off and go through x-ray.

Of course this requires some travelers to walk the floor through the metal detectors barefoot. That is really unsanitary and frankly disgusting and one reason that I’ve have taken to wearing thick socks with my pajamas anytime I am traveling more than 5 hours by plane.

Like Saturday, when I was picked up from the house. I had on my flannel lounge pants; a long-sleeve pull over; my thick socks (for the questionably “clean” floors at security) and a pair of slip on topsiders. When I go through security I don’t have a stitch of metal on me!

Knowing what to wear is the easy part but once you are at security you have to have a keen eye for the right line to get in. Every airport is different; some have a lane for business and first class travelers which helps and some don’t which means you’ve got to be extra vigilant in your observations.

Avoid lines that have families with small children; they usually don’t travel much and kids are notorious for doing dumb-ass things that will hold up the line. Avoid lines with lots of old people as there will invariably be someone with an artificial joint or two that didn’t know that it would set off the metal detector.

 Also, avoid any lines that have people that are overly dressed for travel, especially older woman wearing lots of jewelry it’s usually cheap plated metals that will set off the metal detectors so they’ll hold up the line arguing with the TSA and then removing that crappy jewerly. This applies to anyone that looks like Mr. T or persons wearing a large Mercedes-Benz emblem removed from the grill of truck and hanging from a think bicycle chain around the individual’s neck. Don’t laugh; I’ve witnessed this first hand!

The other thing that is troubling is that there is always some new process or new law being implemented. It is usually a reaction to some incident or situation like the requirement of taking off your shoes or this little form that is handed to you now at the international ticket counters:

Dear Passenger,

The U.S. Department of Transportation has instituted a law (the Passenger Manifest Information Rule) that requires air carriers operating flights to/from the United States to identify by name all U.S. citizens on board their flights. The law further requires those carriers to inquire whether the passenger would like to provide a name and phone number of a contact person- not traveling on the same flight- who may be contacted, if necessary.

Okay, basically they are saying that if you go down in flames they want it to be easier to contact your loved ones. In the past it was a hassle trying to put the contact information together and since traveling has become a roll of the dice they want to streamline the process of informing your surviving family. It really puts you at ease before boarding the aircraft!!

Honestly, it is high time that we get a national ID card of some sort that allows for you to be thoroughly checked out in advance so that you can use a fast-pass type of line at the airport. There was a company like that called CLEAR but they went belly-up because they could not refinance their debt when the credit crunch hit a year and half ago.

For a nominal annual fee you could breeze through the CLEAR lanes at the various airports bypassing the hoards of inexperienced flyers. I had no problem being finger printed, have retinal scans done and having it all sent to Homeland Security for clearance. It was well worth it especially at Orlando International Airport which I’ve traveled through frequently.

I would like to see a similar type of service in place again as it would at least make travel somewhat easier and more efficient at least for the frequent flyer.

The best trips I’ve taken lately though have been within the United States. A few weeks ago we drove up to Carmel for the weekend and went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and it was a terrific weekend. The month before that I was in Maine for annual sabbatical from life; again it was wonderful, safe and just downright relaxing. 

If you are considering traveling for pleasure do it in the U.S.; there is plenty to see and less folks trying to kill you because you are an American!

More to come from Zurich in a few days.

Dave Bossert- Commentary

Dave Bossert is a community volunteer who serves on a number of boards and councils. His commentaries represent his own opinions and not necessarily the views of any organization he may be affiliated with or those of the West Ranch Beacon.